So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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