i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
