I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
