I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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