There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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