And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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