butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
