brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
