Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize