I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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