he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize