I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
