But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
