Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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