Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
