That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize