I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
