just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
