She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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