Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
