I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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