Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize