when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
