I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
