Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
