I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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