and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
