I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
