It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
