: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
