i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
not ubering you a puppy
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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