i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
