So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
