I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
