I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
