fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
