It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
