what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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