Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
