I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
