why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
