We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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