I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
