He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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