Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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