hotel room ftw
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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