is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
