Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
