I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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