hell yes lets make some ravioli
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
