Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
