UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So vagazzling was a success
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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