help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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