He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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