Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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