My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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